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Chapter 6 - The Confession on the Linoleum

Ethan crossed the linoleum floor with frantic, desperate strides, closing the distance between us in seconds.

Before I could stand up from the small plastic chair, Ethan dropped down onto his knees right on the cold cafeteria floor in front of me.

He didn't care that he was wearing an expensive suit. He didn't care that a hospital janitor was watching him from forty feet away. He collapsed onto his knees, bringing his face level with mine, his chest heaving as he looked up at me with raw, naked adoration and terror.

"Ethan, get up—" I stammered, startled by his sudden collapse.

"No," he rasped out, reaching out with trembling, hesitant hands. "No. I am staying right here."

His hands hovered in the air, inches away from my lap. He looked up into my eyes, his brown gaze brimming with fresh, heavy tears.

"May I?" he asked, his voice shaking violently as he pointed his eyes down toward my stomach. "Please, Madison... please let me touch her. Just once."

My throat locked up. The icy wall I had spent six months building around my heart crumbled into dust under the desperate, reverent plea in his eyes.

Slowly, deliberately, I nodded.

Ethan let out a choked, sob-filled gasp. He leaned forward, gently placing both of his wide, warm palms onto the firm curve of my seven-month-pregnant belly.

The moment his skin made contact through the fabric of my green scrubs, our unborn daughter kicked.

Hard. Right into the palm of his right hand.

Ethan froze. His eyes widened in absolute, breathtaking shock. A gasp of pure, unadulterated wonder escaped his lips, followed immediately by a sob that shook his entire upper body.

"Oh, God..." he wept, pressing his forehead against my knees, his hands wrapping reverently around the sides of my belly. "Oh, God... she kicked... she kicked me..."

"She kicks a lot," I whispered, tears pouring down my cheeks, my hands coming up to rest gently on top of his dark, soft hair. "Especially at night. Especially when I'm tired."

Ethan stayed on his knees, weeping quietly into my lap, his fingers gently stroking the curve of my stomach where his daughter was resting. He kissed the fabric of my scrubs—once, twice, three times—a sacred, desperate act of repentance that washed through the cold hospital room like a warm wave.

"I'm so sorry, Madison," he sobbed into my lap, his voice muffled by the green fabric. "I am so, so sorry... I left you alone with her... I left you to face all of this by yourself..."

"Ethan..." I choked out, running my fingers through his hair, feeling the familiar warmth of his head against my legs.

He lifted his head, looking up at me, his face streaked with tears, his red eyes burning with a fierce, absolute conviction I had never seen in him before.

"I love you," Ethan said, his voice ringing loud and clear through the empty room. "I loved you the night I walked out. I loved you every single agonizing day I spent away from you. And I love you right now, more than my own life."

I stared down at him, my heart breaking and repairing itself in the exact same breath. "Ethan..."

"I was terrified of being a father again, Madison," he confessed, reaching up to take my hand, squeezing my fingers with desperate strength. "When Sarah died, it broke something fundamental inside my brain. Raising Sophie alone... every fever, every fall, every tear she shed felt like a test I was failing. I thought I was cursed. I thought if I brought another child into this world, if I tried to build a real family with you, that the universe would take you away from me too."

He squeezed my hand tighter, pressing his lips against my knuckles.

"But tonight... when I carried Sophie into your ER... when I saw you take control, when I saw you heal my daughter with so much grace, so much love... and then when I saw you carrying our child..." Ethan wept, shaking his head. "I realized how blind I was. You aren't my curse, Madison. You and this baby... you are my second chance. My home."

I looked down at the man kneeling on the floor—the proud, wealthy developer who had stripped away every shred of his pride to kneel in the dirt of a hospital cafeteria, begging for forgiveness.

"Do you know how hard it was?" I whispered, my voice trembling with six months of stored grief. "To go to the ultrasounds alone, Ethan? To watch other couples hold hands in the waiting room while I sat in the corner holding a number?"

"I know," he wept, bowing his head against my hand. "I know I can never undo the pain I caused you. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness tonight."

He looked up, his eyes locking onto mine with an unyielding promise.

"But I will spend every remaining second of my life earning it back," Ethan declared. "I will buy a house near your hospital. I will carry your bags. I will cook your meals. I will attend every doctor's appointment. You can keep me at a distance, you can make me sleep on the couch, you can make me prove myself every single day—but I am never, ever walking away from you or our daughters again."

I sat in the quiet cafeteria, looking at him, feeling the steady kick of our daughter against my womb, hearing the echo of little Sophie's innocent question on the phone.

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“Daddy, is Dr. Madison going to be my baby sister’s mommy too?”

I reached out with both hands, cupping Ethan's wet cheeks, and pulled him up from the floor.

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